Whenever you try to connect and it says "Connection Refused: Connect", this does not mean you are banned from the server because the connection was "refused". This simply means the server is offline and nobody is able to connect at this time or you simply have a problem with your internet. Simply keep refreshing your client until it says the server is back up.
Or you can do this to know even faster and you don't have to spam click your mouse.
1. Go to www.teamextrememc;com
2. look for the area of the page that shows this
3. Whenever the server goes online or offline it will immediately show it on this panel of the screen.
4. As soon as you see it say online just open minecraft and connect. Most likely you will be able to connect before the player limit is reached.